Dang You Canada!

{ May 9, 2011 @ 8:58 am } · { Uncategorized }
{ Tags: , , , , , } · { Comments (9) }

This post is plum full of JEALOUSY.

Canada has TONS of cool stuff…and cool people…. (NOT that the States don’t have those things…but I hear SOOOO much more about awesome contests and friggin home makeovers…all with the cute little disclaimer…. *must be a Canadian resident to enter.*)

UGH!

I’ve been to Canada. A few different times. I’ve been to Victoria and Vancouver. Ya, I totally can say I’ve been all over Canada! See, from the map below. I basically AM Canadian from those trips.

Canada has Old Navy awesome crap like GIGantic gift cards and new store layouts and stuff

Canada had IKEA doing friggin kitchen remodels and crap like that. Oh ya….that WHOLE twitter party was in my feed. (have you seeeen MY kitchen?)

Canada has Mike Holmes.  SO. DANG. UNFAIR. (have you seeeen MY house?)

Canada gets Craig Ferguson….sure, he’s probably on tour and stopping all over the place BUT of course….I ONLY hear about his trip to Canada…..

I want to take a poll….because I’m pretty sure most of my social media connections are Canadian. So, go ahead and put in the little comment box thing if you are Canadian or not.

Please.

I’m asking nicely.

Because in reality….I’m just super jealous of you people.

Mom’s, Puppies & Lemonade….

{ May 8, 2011 @ 5:00 am } · { Family, Parenting }
{ Tags: , , , } · { Comments (15) }

They gave me Mother’s Day. The newbie blogger. *I secretly think they are trying to sabotage me.* BUT WAIT….MAYBE, just maybe, they were being really smart because most people are doing special spoily kinda stuff on Mother’s Day like getting pedicures and going to brunch…not sitting in front of a computer reading stuff…. Right?…don’t all mom’s go to brunch on Mother’s Day? So, maybe Christine & Nadia were the brilliant gals who thought…”hmmm…let’s give the new girl the day where everyone is busy….” *Maybe they are NOT actually trying to sabotage me!!*

Well then, now that I feel much less pressure…let’s move on! This post is about puppies. Not really, but my son, whom just turned 7 informed me that ALL GIRLS like puppies! And I figure mostly girls are going to read this.

There! (I have no idea about protocol from stealing pics from the internet, so click here for the link to where I found this pic) I probably shouldn’t be allowed to have my own website. I am bound to break a law or 12.

It’s ok, you can click the back button and go back to something more interesting. I don’t blame you.

I almost forgot!

Happy Mother’s Day!

I didn’t want kids. For YEARS. Ask Jenny on The Spot, she’ll tell ya! Kids scared the EVERYTHING out of me! They are little and leaky as babies and then they start talking back and running away from you.

I thought I would be fine with a cat. But that honeymoon period only lasted a bit, and then it started to gross me out. So I threw her away.

Guess one kid couldn’t hurt. Ok, 2 kids, but THAT’S it. He wanted a bakers dozen.

Not from me dude. Find yourself a sister-wife or something if you want any more than 2.

I wanted a girl kid REALLY bad. I was into dance & gymnastics as a kid, so I wanted a girl to live vicariously through her…. just kidding…. (gosh, tough crowd)

I got my girl! She was born on Christmas Eve in 2001.

And then….a couple years later, this happened.

One girl, one boy. Done! Perfect!

I was done for a few different reasons.

  • I only have 2 hands. Figure 1 kid on each hand, if I had a 3rd kid….how in the heck would I hold his/her’s hand in a parking lot?
  • Twins are EVERYWHERE in my family and hubs family. Wasn’t risking going from 2 to 4….
  • In reality, I actually already had 3 kids at this point…cuz let’s face it, the husband is just another kid, albeit taller and the bacon bringer home’r

Those were/are my reasons…so don’t think I’m all judgy about people who have more kids! Those people are UH-MAZING, I just couldn’t do it!

Shortly after having these kids, I realized just how much POWER I have!

I also realized as a mom I was pretty strict. My kids will eat what we eat at all meals, they will be kind and respectful and fun. I say NO a lot. I might not even let them finish their sentence and I have already said NO. I know….I am a MEAN mom. Jerk. Its ok, I am. But, I am really trying to get better. I still don’t allow play-doh, but thats what hubby is for, they do all those things that I say NO to when I’m not around!

Lexi is 9 and a half and Brayden just turned 7. They ROCK my world.

Lexi is ridiculously smart and FUNNY…..SO FUNNY, she has this dry quick witted humor that often leaves my jaw-dropped.

Brayden is sweet, smart and athletic. I am told by every mom who works in the class (I’m the bad mom who rarely EVER helps in the class) that Brayden is the most thoughtful boy they have ever met! That makes my heart melt.

These kids deserve a way better mom! So, for them, I am trying to be better! The fun mom who sometimes actually says yes.

So, the other day, they asked a HUGE question. I said YES and I WISH I could have gotten a picture of their faces, to be honest, Lexi already started her rebuttal before she realized I actually said YES.

I let them set up a lemonade stand at the end of the driveway.

It….was…..a…..HUGE………..SUCCESS!!!!!

In many ways, they had TONS of customers (they made $20 and sold each cup for a quarter…so ya, figure that out!)

That day, they thought I was the ABSOLUTE BEST MOM ON THE PLANET!!

I totally won that day!

I wish this post had some deep rooted point, but it really doesn’t. I always tell people I don’t really do ‘mommy blogging’ because I don’t think I’m a great mom. First of all, I am certainly NOT old enough to be a mom (I’m still 25, right?) & I certainly don’t feel even remotely mature enough to be a mom (just ask ANY of my nieces or nephews…) BUT, I have amazing kids. Like I said earlier, they deserve better. And since I am not willing to give them away, I better do what I can to be that better mom!

So, Happy Mother’s Day to all the AMAZING moms out there and ALSO to all the moms like me who are just trying to keep their kids fed and dressed and even occasionally brush their hair before they get on the school bus (OH MY GOSH, is that why some of you moms homeschool?). Anyhooo….we deserve props too!

******

I was approached last month to be a part of the May Mom Blog Hop put together by Christine & Nadia. Thank you ladies for this invite, I was incredibly excited and overwhelmed….and will TOTALLY understand if you cross me off your list for next time! ;o)

Each day a new blog post is written, see the previous posts below:
Moments of Motherhood by Nadia
Respect, Appreciation and Love by Christine
May Mom Blog by Crystal
Motherhood: Includes… by Dana
An Ode to Angelina Jean by Wendy
No One Ever Told Me by Kimberly
The Sisterhood by Corinne

Tomorrow’s post will be from Jana at The Bees Knees so make sure you check it out!

Ninjas & puppies! Sweet or Smart?!?

{ May 5, 2011 @ 12:04 am } · { Family }
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He is a SWEET kid. I know all moms say that, but today I win!

TODAY, my baby boy is 7. He cares more about others than most adults do! He ADORES his big sister. He still sits on my lap ANY chance he gets. He lights up when his dad tells him he played a GREAT baseball game.

I asked him what kind of cupcakes he wanted me to make for his class.

HIM: “most people like chocolate.”
Me: “but what do YOU want?”
Him: “well, most people like chocolate but my friend Talle can’t have chocolate so make sure you make both chocolate and vanilla.”

I asked him how he wanted them decorated.

Him: “hmm…I think you should stick toothpicks in them, and put little Lego ninja’s on the ones for the boys and puppies for the girls”.

I stopped everything I was doing and looked at him and said “What? Puppies? Where did that come from?”.

He said, in a bit of an embarrassed tone, “What? All girls like puppies!”

My sweet boy. Chocolate….vanilla….toothpicks…ninja’s & puppies…. (to meet all his criteria…)

And then it hit me….

HE’S A LITTLE LADIES MAN!

The PUPPIES are for the LADIES!

I know…I’m in trouble! ;o)

Happy 7th birthday to my AWESOMELY handsome, sweet, smart, athletic little stud!! I love you kid!!!

A New Game! What’s in moms purse?

{ April 24, 2011 @ 5:24 am } · { What's in Mom's Purse? }
{ Tags: , , , } · { Comments (7) }

My 9yo asked me for a pen today. Seems a simple request, right? Wrong.

You see, I got is new purse from my mom. My husband strongly disagrees with me calling it a purse. He considers it more like a carry-on suitcase. But I can’t NOT use it, it meets all my favorite requirements: its designer (Dooney & Bourke), it’s from Disney & it’s CUTE!

Size DOES matter friends!


I LOVE this bag, LOVE IT!!

But friends…

It has become quite the problem.

Today I was asked for a simple writing utensil.

I. Couldn’t. Find. One.

But, here are a few of the items I did find:

A notebook
A tape measure
Multiple design magazines
A bible
A nikon camera lens
A deck plan of a carnival cruise ship
An iPad
A razor handle…so not even useful in those important times….
Eyeliner..empty….so again, not even useful
Empty candy & chip bags
Starburst (duh!)
And of course the normal stuff, my wallet, 2 pairs of sunglasses, eyeglasses, 4 tubes of lip gloss, chapstick, a hairbrush, headphones…..


See!! See my wallet? That is what fits into a normal purse. Maybe the wallet and sunglasses. And lip gloss.

But, I have to admit, after a HUGE search…. I did find something that made my 9yo happy.


So what if it’s from IKEA.

Wait, are we supposed to return those?

—————

*I’m considering starting a new game. For myself as well as GUESTS! What’s in Mom’s Purse? could be a spectacular new catagory!! Would you want to participate??

I once had a McDonald’s cheeseburger in my purse for multiple days. True story.

Door 2 Door Booger…err…Alarm Salesman

{ April 20, 2011 @ 8:38 am } · { Our Home }
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A loud noise woke me up at 4am this morning in a total panic. In that moment of sheer confused fog, husband jumps up and mumbles something along the lines of “gotta check my computer”. Ya-that’s among the first things he thinks of in those ‘we’re about to die’ moments. I had a FLOOD of thoughts come in at an uncontrollable speed…. “oh my gosh, it’s the door 2 door alarm salesman…he wasn’t really selling alarms, he was scouting out houses to rob. Him and his partner were seeing which homes in the neighborhood are good targets. He was going to ROB US.”

My husband had returned to bed and about 4 seconds had gone by. Then there was a flash of lightening and a huge crash of thunder. Oh, right…thunder…that’s what the sound was that woke me up.

But still.

What if I’m right and this is some type of prophetic post. What if.

Here’s what happened, on Monday we were in our office working (we both telecommute for a company out of Salt Lake City) and hubs says “there is a dude coming to the door and I’m on a conference call”

I bounce down the stairs and go out on the porch before the guy can ring the doorbell and wake the guard dogs.

He “picked” (you’ll get that in a minute) our house to give us a free alarm system. All I had to do was fill out a little form. Now, before you go all judgy judge pants on me, I know. I’ve actually done this before, we have had horrible experience with those alarm systems/companies before – so why not try again! Plus, that was in Idaho and this is a new place, so was considering it. Mostly I had decided to have him come back and tell my hubs about the “smokin deal”. I fill out the little form and tell him tomorrow or the next day would be a good time to come back. *Sketchy part that didn’t cross my mind AT THE TIME* he said he just moved here and didn’t have a phone so he asked to use MY phone to call his “supervisor” and I said sure. But I did not let him inside. I went, got my phone and let him use it (another brilliant after thought…he now has my number programmed into whatever phone he dialed…).

He said he would call us on Tuesday to confirm the time he would be back with his supervisor.

He never called. I didn’t think about that until I was rudely awaken this morning by the loud noise (ok, the thunder).

Ugh.

He was scoping out our house. And let’s face it, neither hubs or myself are exactly built like Mr. T.

BUT, we don’t need an alarm because we have these GIANT terrifying dogs!!!

Oh wait, those were the wrong pics….how about this video.

Oops, wrong video…anyhow, they are vicious attack dogs. They just don’t always remember that.

BUT, THE ABSOLUTE WORST part about this entire ordeal…I wouldn’t be able to give the cops an accurate description if/WHEN this actually happens. This is just about how that conversation would go.. “he was tall, really tall. He had light brown hai….EEEW GIANT BOOGER. THERE WAS A BOOGER HANGING OUT OF HIS NOSE…I have NO idea what his face looked like. I COULDN’T look at his face. BOOOOGGGGEEEEERRRR”

WHAT IF that BOOGER was all part of his plan. To DISTRACT me from his facial features.

That’s it. We are putting up video cameras. I am suspicious.

UGH….and today is Wednesday.

Monday ADULT Funny ~ “Please say it’s Wednesday”

{ April 18, 2011 @ 11:48 am } · { A Good Laugh }
{ Tags: , , } · { Comments (7) }

I am busy working. And I see this little message pop up…from my husband…

So, of course I am confused (not terribly difficult to confuse me)… so I click the little linky….

And

DIED

L  A  U  G  H  I  N  G

*taptap* Is this thing on? I’m new here!

{ April 17, 2011 @ 6:37 pm } · { About Me, Cancer }
{ Tags: , , , } · { Comments (6) }

I’m new. In the land of bloggers. I still don’t really know what I am doing, but I absolutely LOVE it!

I just learned what a widget is, BOOYAH!

I created a mess of a website 2 years ago when I was at a loss for what to do in life. My perfect little world was shaken to the core when not 1, not 2, but 3 (THREE) immediate family members were diagnosed with cancer within months of each other. I left my cushy little life in Idaho to care for my dad in Florida and then against my will but ONLY FOR MY FAMILY, moved and settled into a new life in here in northern California.

Why the name Jennheffer? My brother couldn’t pronounce Jennifer when I was a baby so it sounded like heffer. My dad called me that all my life until he passed away last year. So, I will keep that nickname alive as long as I can! All for you DAD!

At first I didn’t want to move back in CA, but now I LOVE IT! I need sunshine to breathe!

I’m a nerd. I LOVE TECHNOLOGY but mainly Apple products!

I’m am FULL of energy! Always bouncin around. I don’t walk often, I run! ;0)

I work out. A lot. Because it makes me feel good. That could be why I am bouncy. (P90x Baby!)

I was in gymnastics for years as a child. I do cartwheels everywhere. (Maybe that’s why I’m bouncy??)

I’m spoiled. I have this adorable (smokin hot) husband whom I have been madly in love with since I was 17. I told him I would only move back to CA (I wasn’t totally serious…) if we got a house with a pool and I got a Cadillac CTS (another thing I wanted for my dad, he LOVED Cadi’s). I now have both. *spoiled*

My husband looks like he’s 13.  But HE IS OLDER THAN ME. Yes, I have been called his mom before. I still *STRONGLY DISLIKE* (we don’t use the word HATE in my house) you lady at the movie theater ticket window.

I have a sister who is 11 years younger than me. Yes, people *have* thought her and my husband were the couple and I was the mom. *STRONG DISLIKE*

My mom hands me down her clothes that are too big for her. She’s the size of a glorified blade of grass.

I love Starbucks.  A lot. I also have a fancy smancy espresso machine at home, but I will only use Starbucks espresso roast beans and Starbucks syrups. (This could fall into the spoiled catagory)

I’m funny. I know this because I keep track of everytime someone says ‘lol’ or ‘haha’ and even the occasional ‘bahaha’ to me on twitter or Facebook. So, if you don’t mean it, DON’T SAY IT.

My signature smiley face is this ;o) because I completely lack the ability to wink in real life. My face distorts in a way that only an animal could pull off.

I laugh A LOT! I am super positive and optimistic. I don’t get stressed out. About anything. I believe in God and am thankful that Jesus died for me! Maybe that is why I don’t ever worry.

I love nice shoes. My husband calls me a hoarder when he walks into the closet.

I shop and forget what I bought and find it MONTHS later and SQUEAL like a little girl! Today was one of those days, I found THIS top in my closet and was SUPAH excited…not only cuz it was super cute, but it matches a GREAT pair of shoes!

And finally, yes, I am a mom. I have a girl and a boy whom I adore!

I write about everything. Even the normal is not so normal in this house and I wouldn’t change any of it for the world.

Kitchen FAIL

{ April 15, 2011 @ 2:24 pm } · { Our Home, Turning this OLD house into OUR HOME }
{ Tags: , , } · { Comments (4) }

We bought this older home, because it looks like a dollhouse from outside. (Well, that is why I wanted it, hubs didn’t want it at all)

Inside is a trainwreck. 

You don’t believe me, look here.

It has sooo much potential. And it has a pool. I like pools. Not to swim in, well sometimes, but mainly to lay out by. I feel silly laying out in a pool-less yard.

So, the kitchen is a giant nightmare. Ugly, but HUGE. So we are going to remodel it soon (likely in a year or two).  Because we are remodeling it and I have NO IDEA what I want…stove top, double oven, island, bar, stainless appliances, white appliances….etc…I haven’t put ANY work into the kitchen. Well, except that I removed the wallpaper, painted & put in a new floor, but that is a whole other story (literally).

So, the kitchen came with this gem:

Don’t be jealous. It’s ok, someday you too can have a sweet stove like this. Try thrift stores or craigslist, keywords ‘antique, vintage or old & moldy’.

But hey, it worked. So I couldn’t complain. Wasn’t about to go purchase a new stove when I didn’t know what I wanted when we remodel.

BUT! The other day my sister-in-law called me and said “Hey, a friend is selling an almost brand new gas stove for only $300″. I said “Done. I’ll take it!”

Then I asked hubs. Luckily he said yes!

So I got this:

Now, you can be jealous! It has 5 burners. It also has a level surface…all the grates meet together…so like I don’t have to balance burning hot casserole dishes between 2 burners while forgetting to actually put on a glove therefore each additional second that it takes me to balance the dish I am literally SEARING my fingers to the bones….not that I’ve actually EVER done that….

I was super excited about this stove. SUPER.

Hubs installed it within minutes of us getting it. It ROCKS!

I cooked anything I could RIGHT then. Like mini pizzas and a cake and stuff.

And then…..

I went to do the dishes.

RUT ROH!

 

That’s right. The friggin dishwasher (also from dinosaur ages) will. not. open.

I was super upset. Thought I was losing the new stove. But, hubs wiggled, pushed, wedged & fanagled the PERFECT solution.

STEP 1:

STEP 2:

Done deal.  NOW, you know a lot more about me.

I get to keep my stove, which makes me smile.

An incredible way to display a photo ~ Plus I WON this!

{ April 12, 2011 @ 8:32 pm } · { Apple Nerd, Family }
{ Tags: , , , , , } · { Comments (10) }

Mmmk, so here is the dealio! A few months back (or last month?) I came across a blog (Canvas Press Gallery Wrapped Canvas Giveaway) by one of my fav ROCKSTAR bloggers @sthrnfairytale. I was all, “well, ya, duh, of course I WANT THAT!” But I never win things, so I commented, tweeted, begged, blew kisses….did EVERYTHING I could to get entered.

DUDES….(obviously you know this by now…) but I WON!!! (yah, that gets 3 exclamation points!)

So, after I FREAK out and FAINT calm my nerves, I announce it to EVERYONE I know, as well as random strangers in my path.

I won a 16×20 print, including shipping. It was a value of $119.39. Be still my heart.

So, guess what I did. Yup. I UPGRADED!!!!! I ordered a 30×24 because of the photo (taken by the FABULOUS Roxi Mueller) I selected. I *might* have to build a wall to put it on, but hey, it’s TOTALLY worth it!

*DISCLAIMER: Prior to seeing the post by Southern Fairytale, I had no idea how I wanted to display this picture of my family! It was too different for just a frame! It needed something special!

It came TODAY.

I.   Can.     Barely.       Breathe.

The photo I chose is the Apple pic that I actually sent to Steve Jobs! Yes, we are all holding different Apple products, but that is NOT what this post is about.

I just died.

Again.    (LOOOOVVVVEEEE this print, SOOOO much!)

Check out the wrap!

IT’S SOOOO FLUFFY I COULD DIE!!!! (oh wait, that’s from a movie…)

Anyhoooo, I am soooo unbelievably happy with this print, AND I want to HIGHLY RECOMMEND CANVAS PRESS to EVERYONE on the planet! So, in honor of this post, Canvas Press has created a SPECIAL promo for you all. So, go (RIGHT NOW) and order a print from them. In the checkout area, enter the PROMO Code “JENN10″ for a special 10% off.  BOOM!

That’s right, I got MY OWN discount code! Seriously people, I have MOVED UP in the world!

Do it!

As for where I am going to hang this UH-MAZING print, in my staircase. The back wall that you can see from downstairs as well as upstairs.

PERFECTO.

Bah!! Windows 7…on my Mac.. like filling the insides with slime…

{ April 11, 2011 @ 12:04 pm } · { Apple Nerd }
{ Tags: , , , } · { Comments (8) }

Oh….the….problems….

The question I keep getting asked is “Why, why, WHY??”

It’s for work.  That’s right. I have an actual job. (I’m quite fond of it too…the job, NOT WINDOWS)

Hating Windows so far:
 1. instantly changed the display colors.  Like from brilliant colors to pastels. GAG.
 2. can’t figure out how to turn off my track pad sensitivity while typing…so I will be typing a sentence and all of the sudden be at the top of the page typing in the middle of a word. HATE.
 3. files are missing. Sure, maybe not Window’s fault, but I can blame ALL I WANT.
 4. fixing my brain to use ctrl button instead of the command button. SUCKS.
   (and so you know, I typed that 3 times because I kept getting thrown into other paragraphs or other programs….sorry for the random violent tweets…It’s Windows, not me.) 
 5. scrolling is at hyper speed. I want to scroll down…BAM, I’m at the bottom of the trenches. I want mid section – wait a minute….It takes 462 tries – as long as I touch the track pad in the right spot…at the right time…when the sun is perfectly aligned with house…only on Tuesdays….
 6. Oh and I’m pretty sure I already have a virus.
 7. its all dumb and different

Missing my Mac OS.

Outlook is nice though.

PS – If any of you tell Steve Jobs about this, I will cut you. Or unfollow you. Or something.

And you know you don’t want that….cuz I’m all sorts of important.

PSS – My husband (@bryanmcnerd) the techie after reading this said to me ”you’re an idiot”

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